"Professor Lipschlitz is sick and asked me to give his lecture on a special assignment, the evolution of birds. Today we discuss species CONTUPUS. The simple wood PEWEE hangs out in trees feeding on insects." EE pointed the laser at a picture of a bird. "Let's see. They retain their APPEARANCE Phoenix-like, fire and ashes. Won't remain BACHELORS. Rub their beaks on tree trunks creating FLAKES like a wooden PLANE. BAISATE each other, even the same sex and sometimes DISENTOMB enemies for carnivores to defile. In captivity, they exhibit manlike athletics as opposed to the COTTON-throated tweeter who displays WOMANLIKE dances similar to a POLONAISE. They have no natural ability for ASTEREOGNOSIS, unlike the Greek Feel-Goodie. During dissection, their tiny innards appear as ANNEXA. That'sa beginner's mistake."
"Sir, That's a picture of a Pale-Bellied, Tyrant-Mannekin from Birdsong ANNAL."
"Not from this GENRE, uh sorry, genus." He flicked to the next slide. A naked surfer plowed the waves on a square-sailed sailboard, BUNTLINES exposed for all to see.
"Oh-la-la, Lipschlitz is a old DELVER bird. That image dates back to 1994. It carried one of the first Trojan horse viruses and caused much OBLITERATION of hard drives. At my AGE, surfing is, well let's just say I don't want to PREDECEASE my wife. She HELVES axes for a hobby."
"Are you an ornithologist?"
"Etymology and Philology. Is this remedial composition? No? Sorry, THE SIN URGES THE DRUG. Lipschlitz must'ave twittered through a hangover."
--Dave F.
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2 comments:
Wait, wait--WHO had the hangover? Because I'm not so sure anymore.
Sorry.
I'm not sure who had the hangover. I didn't write far enough into the story to find out.
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